1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,428
You tell me. I thought you'd invited
me to discuss "us". Are you cross?

2
00:00:04,473 --> 00:00:07,973
The idea of an "us"
has never been further away.

3
00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:09,580
You ARE cross.

4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,850
You tell me
what you think you've done wrong.

5
00:00:11,851 --> 00:00:14,290
Well, I went down that alleyway
behind the Co-op once,

6
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:17,090
cos someone told me there were some
jazz mags there, but that was in the '80s.

7
00:00:17,091 --> 00:00:19,809
This is serious!
There's been a complaint.

8
00:00:19,810 --> 00:00:23,810
What did you do while you were
invigilating the science GCSE exam

9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,170
last week?
Nothing. I mean...

10
00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:29,089
I had a couple of games of Camp
Aisle. Right, what's Camp Aisle?

11
00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:30,849
You know, Camp Aisle!

12
00:00:30,850 --> 00:00:33,369
Me and Dave from English invented
it. You take it in turns to...

13
00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,809
"Mince up and down
between the rows of desks

14
00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:39,810
"in an incrementally camp manner
whilst stifling giggles."

15
00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:44,249
It's not just me. Well, you were the
one who was seen.

16
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:48,250
That's cos I'm the best!
It's offensive and it's offended

17
00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:51,089
the gay... person who's complained.
What?!

18
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:54,329
June Telford from Science?
She's not gay!

19
00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:56,689
"The '60s were a cock harvest, Dan."
Her words.

20
00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,169
It's a pupil.
There's a gay kid in Year 10?

21
00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:03,489
Brilliant! Who is it?
I won't be naming names!

22
00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:05,809
Well, do they do drama?
No.

23
00:01:05,810 --> 00:01:09,130
Well, why not?! I need those guys!

24
00:01:09,130 --> 00:01:10,369
What?!

25
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,249
Come on...

26
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:15,730
gays improve plays.

27
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:18,730
You haven't got a clue, have you?

28
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:25,090
Welcome to your weekend, Dan.

29
00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:52,694
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.

30
00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:55,010
Well, if it's getting to the
point it's affecting your squash game,

31
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:57,250
you know you need to get that
knee sorted.

32
00:01:57,251 --> 00:02:00,930
Yeah. Barbara beat you, didn't she?

33
00:02:00,930 --> 00:02:04,889
I was very tired that day. And I
think Barbara would be the first to admit

34
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,410
that her service is borderline
illegal.

35
00:02:07,411 --> 00:02:11,410
Well, I don't blame you, Brian.
Hospital is amazing.

36
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:14,129
You've got a telly, him over there.

37
00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:18,130
You've got free magazines, satsumas!
I wish I had a dodgy knee.

38
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:21,209
I have a business to run, Jo.
This is no holiday.

39
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:23,449
What do you think Magda and I
are doing down the salon?

40
00:02:23,450 --> 00:02:26,569
Celebrity Fusions is tough.
Jo, for the last time,

41
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:29,729
nobody wants two celebrity looks
on their face simultaneously.

42
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:32,969
It's a business disaster!
Sorry, Brian, I'm not being funny,

43
00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:34,969
but, um, why don't you just
stick to what you do?

44
00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:38,449
What, like advise small businesses?

45
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:42,450
Unbelievable! She's sending me on a
diversity course.

46
00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:46,689
"Hello, Brian. Sorry I'm really late.
Nervous about your operation?"

47
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:49,609
"Can I have one of your satsumas,
Brian?"

48
00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:51,929
She said I was homophobic.
Me, homophobic?

49
00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:53,849
I wish I was gay.
I've told you that.

50
00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,649
They're all out having
the time of their lives.

51
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:58,290
What are we doing? Sitting at home
complaining about milk!

52
00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:02,809
As soon as I find a man I fancy,
I'll make him the future Mr Davies.

53
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:04,569
Presuming he's happy
to take your name.

54
00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:07,769
She said I was a dinosaur!
You're not a dinosaur, Dan.

55
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,049
I've seen pictures -
they're fucking massive!

56
00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:13,969
If anything, it's homophobic to
suggest that all gay people are camp.

57
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:16,969
You've met Simon from the White
Lion. He walks like RoboCop!

58
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:20,970
Would anyone here care to
talk about my forthcoming operation?

59
00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:24,690
Now, I'm spending my Saturday with a name
badge on, tossing a ball around the room.

60
00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:28,690
"Hello, everyone,
my name's Dan and I like pasta."

61
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,649
Visiting hours are up.

62
00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:32,409
So if you wouldn't mind...
That's fine.

63
00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:35,889
And can I just say,
I don't think you are paid enough.

64
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:38,009
All women should be paid more.

65
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:41,729
Except those who are tossing
around in someone else's beauty salon.

66
00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:44,889
Barbara, you should come
down the salon.

67
00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:48,209
I could do you a Rihannie Lennox.

68
00:03:48,210 --> 00:03:52,210
"Good luck with the operation,
Brian."

69
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,569
Bit of a handful, that lot.
Gosh, yes.

70
00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:56,209
The wife seems nice and quiet,
though.

71
00:03:56,210 --> 00:04:00,209
Barbara? Oh, oh, no.
God, no! Barbara's not my wife.

72
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:04,210
No, my family are up in Leith,
for a whole week.

73
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:09,889
I miss 'em like hell.

74
00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:12,209
I mean, it's just common sense,
this.

75
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,009
OK, oi, oi, stop that.

76
00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:17,089
What?
No more cleaning for you.

77
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,609
I like cleaning.

78
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:20,609
No, you don't, you've been
brainwashed, it says here.

79
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:22,329
I've not been brainwashed.

80
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,769
It's lovely when everything's
all spick and span.

81
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,609
Look, old woman,
if I tick enough of these off,

82
00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:28,929
I'll get away from the course early.

83
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,809
So I've just challenged
a gender role,

84
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:33,329
so no more cleaning for you - tick.

85
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:37,330
Ah, Polly, can you... can you help
me get rid of this stain?

86
00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:39,649
Fuck me, half a car wash.

87
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:43,009
Yes, I don't expect you to know anything
about traditional English festivals.

88
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:45,490
You're a slave to technology
and pornography.

89
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:49,010
I'm surprised you haven't rubbed
your front tail off! Now, Polly...

90
00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:52,089
This stain, can you help?
No, she can't!

91
00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:56,090
Daniel says I'm not to clean any
more. He's on a course.

92
00:04:56,370 --> 00:05:00,370
Your mother is made happy
by manual labour. She is a woman.

93
00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:03,129
That is an archaic view
and I'm challenging it.

94
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:06,169
Besides, I've ticked the box now,
so there's no going back.

95
00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:08,809
No more cleaning.
And anyway, you're a woman too.

96
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:10,969
I'm more of a man than you'll ever
be!

97
00:05:10,970 --> 00:05:14,970
I ran the farm for 30 years
after Bertie died. I evolved.

98
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:18,809
I haven't had a sit down wee since
1978. Ugh!

99
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,369
But your mother's role
is more traditional.

100
00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:22,929
Things have moved on, Nesta.

101
00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:24,449
Who's going to do it, then?

102
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:28,450
Somebody's got to, since Mrs Wigmore
mysteriously resigned.

103
00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:31,730
Why did Wigmore resign?

104
00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:37,289
It doesn't matter why
Mrs Wigmore resigned.

105
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:39,889
The point is,
Mum's not cleaning any more.

106
00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:42,489
The boy's gone queer, Polly.
Er...

107
00:05:42,490 --> 00:05:46,490
"The boy has gone strange."
Please, Nesta.

108
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:48,649
It's a piece of piss, this.

109
00:05:48,650 --> 00:05:51,329
Tick.

110
00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,409
We'll just let the hair set,
Mrs Williams.

111
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,969
And then, you can look at the new
you.

112
00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:57,569
We can't keep doing for free.

113
00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:59,730
All right, Magda!
We'll start charging soon.

114
00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:02,330
We need to get the portfolio
finished. Where are we?

115
00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:06,330
So... so far, we've got the Halle
Lulu - Halle Berry and Lulu.

116
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:09,049
Amazing.

117
00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:12,129
Liv and Let Dido - Liv Tyler, Dido.

118
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:15,529
Brave.
Fucking brave.

119
00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:19,530
Oh, lovely lips you've done there.
So thin. Who was this?

120
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:23,169
Duchess of Cambridge, Malcolm X.

121
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:26,009
The Malcolm in the Middleton.

122
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,729
This one is gonna be so popular.

123
00:06:29,730 --> 00:06:31,809
So brave.
You've said that.

124
00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:34,049
Over here, we have another classic.

125
00:06:34,050 --> 00:06:38,050
You said it wasn't possible to
combine Beyonce and Liza Minnelli.

126
00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:42,729
I was Doubting Thomas.
Yes!

127
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:45,009
Behold...

128
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:48,329
...the Beyonzelli!
It's beautiful!

129
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,409
I only came in for a cut and set.

130
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,289
Ssh!

131
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:55,769
And I just realised
I'd presumed that about her

132
00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:59,770
just because she was from Ireland.
I-I felt... really ashamed.

133
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:04,169
Well, I think you're being
a little harsh on yourself.

134
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,929
The Irish do pride themselves
on their drink.

135
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:09,249
Er, Dan?

136
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:13,089
Oh, yes. Thank you. Hello, I'm Dan.

137
00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:15,889
I found the pamphlet
incredibly useful as well.

138
00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:19,890
I probably don't need to do the whole day,
because... I've already stopped my mum

139
00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:23,489
from doing housework.
Wow, there's a quick response.

140
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:26,809
She's been a slave too long, guys,
so I'm gonna get her a cleaner.

141
00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:28,929
Oh, good, so another poor woman
gets to do all the work.

142
00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:32,690
What? It could sound like you've rather
transferred the problem there, Dan.

143
00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:38,049
Can I throw this now, or what?

144
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:40,449
Well, I think that we're gonna
have a great day, guys.

145
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:43,569
Now, your employers would've sent
you here for a variety of reasons.

146
00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:47,570
I know some of you are in coordinator
roles and some of you, dare I say,

147
00:07:47,930 --> 00:07:50,569
need to sharpen up
on your attitudes a little.

148
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,569
Whatever the reason,
I will try my best

149
00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:56,570
not to make the world of diversity
awareness seem too boring. Ha-ha!

150
00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:58,849
So, this afternoon,
we'll actually be going out

151
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:01,649
into the community to meet people
from all different backgrounds.

152
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:05,650
But, what I want to do first,
little energizer everyone, on your feet.

153
00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:09,569
Now, what I want you to do is
find yourself a diversity buddy.

154
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:12,809
Now, that's someone you feel is
from a very different background to you.

155
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:15,970
There you go.

156
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:22,290
Hi...

157
00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:28,529
Hello, I'm Dan.
Teggun.

158
00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:29,489
Sorry?

159
00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:32,409
Teggun!

160
00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:34,569
Right. No English at all, eh?

161
00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:37,289
Teggun.

162
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:38,929
Well, nice to meet you.

163
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:41,329
Ah...

164
00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:43,129
False hand, eh?

165
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:44,369
Yep!

166
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:47,729
I anticipate the operation
going smoothly, Mr Ames,

167
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:50,049
but we may have to break
the bone to reset it again,

168
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:52,409
so that could mean an extra
couple of weeks, I'm afraid.

169
00:08:52,410 --> 00:08:56,410
Well, Doctor, if it's a break
I need, it's a break I need.

170
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:05,929
And next up, a double bill
of Britain's Greatest Steam Engines,

171
00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:07,969
presented by Katie Deraway.

172
00:09:07,970 --> 00:09:09,369
Mmm!

173
00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:13,049
Right, time's up.

174
00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:15,769
So, let's pop around the room
and hear about your chats.

175
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:19,770
Now, I want to hear a few things
about your partner, but remember...

176
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,369
OK?

177
00:09:24,370 --> 00:09:27,729
Do you want to start?
Right, well, er, this is Sue.

178
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:31,049
She has three daughters,
who she loves very much,

179
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:33,970
almost as much as she loves
Aston Villa Football Club.

180
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:38,049
And she dreams of walking
up Machu Picchu one day.

181
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:40,329
Don't we all?

182
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,289
Er, Dan, two things
about your partner, please.

183
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:46,209
Oh... Oh, no, I don't think
I can, so if you'd like to...

184
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,729
Come on, don't be shy. We'll all
have to talk over the course of the day.

185
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,529
OK.

186
00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:53,569
Um, she's not English.
Ah, ah, ah!

187
00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:56,129
No referencing backgrounds,
remember?

188
00:09:56,130 --> 00:10:00,130
Yeah, but I...
Please.

189
00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:07,329
I don't really know anything.
You've been chatting for 15 minutes.

190
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:11,209
Yeah, but...
Dan, please!

191
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:15,210
So... this is Teggun.

192
00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:20,369
And, honestly...

193
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,650
I think there's something wrong with
her.

194
00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:29,610
So, whilst it is important to be open
and direct, it's also important to be aware

195
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:34,209
of the impact that we can have
on other people from different groups.

196
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,009
I'm sure you'll get the hang of it
when we start

197
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,369
working through...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

198
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,489
And if I tick all these off,
will I get a certificate,

199
00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:41,569
cos I've ploughed through
quite a few of these already?

200
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,689
Right, it's not just about
ticking things off.

201
00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:46,769
It's about reaching a new level
of awareness, as I think

202
00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:50,729
your little cleaner story
demonstrated. OK. I can do that.

203
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,009
And it's great that you want to.
Oh, God, I do!

204
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,569
If I nail this, me and my boss will
be

205
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:58,049
in and out of each other
like a set of Russian dolls.

206
00:10:58,050 --> 00:11:00,930
And I'll have embraced diversity.

207
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:02,547
See you after lunch, Dan.

208
00:11:04,526 --> 00:11:06,506
I think we're really
on to something here.

209
00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:08,520
Mm-hm. It's our bravest look yet.

210
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,103
I'll put some more shade on
the chin. No, I do bottom half.

211
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,024
I decide.
No, you do eyes and hair.

212
00:11:13,025 --> 00:11:14,663
It's agreement.
All right, Magda!

213
00:11:14,664 --> 00:11:17,303
If you want this business to work,
you need to be more flexible.

214
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:20,063
All right, Dan? How's the course?

215
00:11:20,064 --> 00:11:22,263
It's a waste of taxpayers'
money, that's what it is.

216
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,383
Fuck! Right?!

217
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:27,023
I mean, it's hard enough getting
Chairman Mao's look right.

218
00:11:27,024 --> 00:11:30,303
Combine that with Samantha
from Sex And The City,

219
00:11:30,304 --> 00:11:33,383
or, as we like to call it,
Chamantha Mao.

220
00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:36,344
From Sex And City.

221
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:38,103
Bold! So bold.

222
00:11:38,104 --> 00:11:41,063
I mean, you're lunatics.

223
00:11:41,064 --> 00:11:43,063
What's he fucking laughing at?

224
00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:45,663
Ignore him, Shakira,
you look great.

225
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,623
Bob? Not Bob.

226
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,383
Bob! No, Shakira!

227
00:11:50,384 --> 00:11:54,384
You've got to get used to it!

228
00:11:56,984 --> 00:12:00,984
Business going well?
Yes, it's good.

229
00:12:03,424 --> 00:12:06,223
So this one's called
the Jesus To A Chiles.

230
00:12:06,224 --> 00:12:07,623
Hmm.

231
00:12:07,624 --> 00:12:10,503
Magda, I shouldn't ask this, I
suppose, but is there really a woman

232
00:12:10,504 --> 00:12:13,783
that's going to want Adrian Chiles
and Christ combined on their face?

233
00:12:13,784 --> 00:12:17,143
Yes! All women like
make-up. Do they?

234
00:12:17,144 --> 00:12:19,543
Or are women doing it for men?

235
00:12:19,544 --> 00:12:23,343
My husband like make-up.
I'll bet he does.

236
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:26,623
Probably because he is...

237
00:12:26,624 --> 00:12:28,223
..seeking to objectify you.

238
00:12:28,224 --> 00:12:30,823
Oh, Magda!

239
00:12:30,824 --> 00:12:32,783
You don't need make-up!

240
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,383
You're beautiful without it.

241
00:12:34,384 --> 00:12:35,783
Am I?

242
00:12:35,784 --> 00:12:37,823
Probably.

243
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:41,824
Now, come on, let's get all
this muck off your face.

244
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:48,464
Don't worry about it.
Yeah. No, it was good, yeah.

245
00:12:49,264 --> 00:12:53,264
It was totally clean. I promise you,
I've never left an 'ouse so clean.

246
00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:55,703
It was a proper good job, yeah.

247
00:12:55,704 --> 00:12:59,423
That's because I'm the best,
aren't I?

248
00:12:59,424 --> 00:13:02,863
Excuse me...

249
00:13:02,864 --> 00:13:06,063
How long have you been a
cleaner, Scott?

250
00:13:06,064 --> 00:13:08,423
Donkey's years.
He's done it for ages.

251
00:13:08,424 --> 00:13:10,303
He doesn't look like a bloody
chambermaid.

252
00:13:10,304 --> 00:13:11,743
It's not 1913!

253
00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:15,343
Get off to your festival of bumpkin, you!
Go and throw some seeds in a kid's face!

254
00:13:15,344 --> 00:13:18,183
What would you use to clean
glass, Scott?

255
00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:21,463
Well, um...

256
00:13:21,464 --> 00:13:25,183
Just use an old avocado. He uses an
avocado, he's old-school.

257
00:13:25,184 --> 00:13:28,503
That would smear, surely.
This is horse shit!

258
00:13:28,504 --> 00:13:31,863
He's not a cleaner!
What, because he's a man?!

259
00:13:31,864 --> 00:13:35,743
It is the 21st century,
old woman. Right, Scott?

260
00:13:35,744 --> 00:13:37,063
Yeah. Right.

261
00:13:37,064 --> 00:13:39,663
And you do ironing?
Of course he does ironing!

262
00:13:39,664 --> 00:13:41,623
Oh, fuck, yeah. See?

263
00:13:41,624 --> 00:13:43,903
What's the biggest thing
you've ever ironed, Scott?

264
00:13:43,904 --> 00:13:46,903
Um, I ironed a windsock once.

265
00:13:46,904 --> 00:13:49,503
He ironed a windsock once. And
they're massive, aren't they?

266
00:13:49,504 --> 00:13:51,343
It was a windsock, was it?

267
00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:52,383
Yeah. Yeah.

268
00:13:52,384 --> 00:13:56,384
Right, if you'll forgive me, I've
got to go and finish my course now.

269
00:13:56,544 --> 00:14:00,544
Very disappointed in
you two, actually.

270
00:14:01,344 --> 00:14:05,344
A windsock!

271
00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:11,063
Where do you want me to start?

272
00:14:11,064 --> 00:14:14,263
And when you start to see
things through that prism,

273
00:14:14,264 --> 00:14:17,783
you start to question...
He's a man!

274
00:14:17,784 --> 00:14:19,023
Sorry?

275
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,783
My mum's new cleaner, he is male.

276
00:14:21,784 --> 00:14:25,383
Oh! Weren't expecting that,
were we, Sue?

277
00:14:25,384 --> 00:14:29,384
See what I do? I challenge. I adapt.
You're all seeing that now.

278
00:14:29,504 --> 00:14:32,383
Teggun!
Thank you, Teggun.

279
00:14:32,384 --> 00:14:35,143
OK. Thank you for that, Dan.

280
00:14:35,144 --> 00:14:39,144
So, this afternoon, in your pairs,
we're going to be building a tower.

281
00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,183
What? Not with cards?

282
00:14:43,184 --> 00:14:44,823
It's just a little trust exercise.

283
00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:47,783
Teggun can't build a card tower!

284
00:14:47,784 --> 00:14:50,983
Oh, come on!
What's she going to use, this?

285
00:14:50,984 --> 00:14:52,863
Oh, God!

286
00:14:52,864 --> 00:14:55,143
It's about finding a balance, Dan!

287
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,503
Making Teggun feel like
she can't take part like that!

288
00:14:57,504 --> 00:15:00,703
Mate, she's got a false hand.
She's physically challenged, yes!

289
00:15:00,704 --> 00:15:03,983
But that doesn't mean you exclude
her, you adapt to her company!

290
00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:07,063
Mate, I'm just being practical.
We've all got our limits.

291
00:15:07,064 --> 00:15:10,823
Teggun can no more build a card
tower than I can wear a dwarf's...

292
00:15:10,824 --> 00:15:11,983
..tabard?

293
00:15:11,984 --> 00:15:13,783
Right, I think that's it.

294
00:15:13,784 --> 00:15:17,784
I think we've reached
the end of the road, Dan.

295
00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:23,784
David? What about the
community interviews?

296
00:15:24,464 --> 00:15:28,464
Oh!

297
00:15:43,504 --> 00:15:47,144
Teggun, what are you doing here?
I've been kicked off the course.

298
00:15:50,224 --> 00:15:53,263
Go and work with Sue and Naz.
I don't want you to fail because of me.

299
00:15:53,264 --> 00:15:54,423
Teggun.

300
00:15:54,424 --> 00:15:58,424
What are you trying to say?

301
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:03,784
Teeeeggggguuuuun.

302
00:16:05,944 --> 00:16:08,783
You're right,
I shouldn't give up.

303
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:11,503
If it's a guest he wants,
it's a guest he'll get.

304
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,783
Teggun!

305
00:16:12,784 --> 00:16:15,584
Exactly.

306
00:16:17,864 --> 00:16:21,223
Nesta, it-it's me.

307
00:16:21,224 --> 00:16:23,823
I'm sorry to call you.

308
00:16:23,824 --> 00:16:27,823
It's that cleaner Daniel got me.
He's taken everything!

309
00:16:27,824 --> 00:16:30,463
That bloody fool!

310
00:16:30,464 --> 00:16:31,903
Leave it with me, Polly.

311
00:16:31,904 --> 00:16:33,503
I'll turn back now.

312
00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:37,504
Thank you.

313
00:16:40,184 --> 00:16:44,184
Oh!

314
00:16:44,784 --> 00:16:48,784
Yeah, must be nice to get a bit
of fresh air, isn't it, mate?

315
00:16:48,864 --> 00:16:50,983
Where are you taking me?
I'm meant to be resting.

316
00:16:50,984 --> 00:16:54,984
Well... I just thought we could
pop out for a little bit.

317
00:16:55,304 --> 00:16:57,743
Maybe we could go
to my diversity course.

318
00:16:57,744 --> 00:17:00,343
What?! I've got a backless gown on.

319
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,223
Argh! Argh!

320
00:17:02,224 --> 00:17:03,903
Oh, dear, does that hurt?

321
00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:05,823
Here, let's give you some morphine.
There.

322
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:07,823
No, it's meant to be
self-regulating. Argh!

323
00:17:07,824 --> 00:17:10,143
You're clearly in pain, aren't
you? Take me back!

324
00:17:10,144 --> 00:17:11,663
There.

325
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,623
Let's pop him in.

326
00:17:13,624 --> 00:17:17,624
Beugh! There's a good boy.

327
00:17:23,184 --> 00:17:26,503
David's going to love this. Teggun,
we've hit the diversity mother lode.

328
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,223
Teggun!

329
00:17:28,224 --> 00:17:32,183
Put the big glove on!

330
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:36,184
We were just driving to my local park
and this lady was in tears on a bench.

331
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:41,624
But Naz and I spoke to her and... I
wouldn't have normally.

332
00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:48,344
Anyway, it turns out she's been
kicked out by her husband.

333
00:17:49,224 --> 00:17:53,143
She'd only popped back to get some
more cleanser and he threw her out.

334
00:17:53,144 --> 00:17:57,144
My husband say he don't like
me with no make-up.

335
00:17:58,664 --> 00:18:00,143
Aww!

336
00:18:00,144 --> 00:18:04,144
He say my face look like bread.

337
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,943
I like make-up.
And why shouldn't you?

338
00:18:07,944 --> 00:18:11,944
Because my friend's friend
said it made me slut for men.

339
00:18:13,104 --> 00:18:14,463
I'm back!

340
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:16,423
David, I know I've been
kicked off the course,

341
00:18:16,424 --> 00:18:18,023
but I think you're
going to love this.

342
00:18:18,024 --> 00:18:21,263
This is my friend Brian
and he's in a wheelchair.

343
00:18:21,264 --> 00:18:22,943
That's him!

344
00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:26,543
That's the man!
Magda? What are you doing here?

345
00:18:26,544 --> 00:18:30,544
He is the one who forced me,
it's all his fault!

346
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,904
Yet again, Dan, you seem to have
misinterpreted the course.

347
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,823
No, I haven't, I'm nailing it.
I've got a disabled friend.

348
00:18:37,824 --> 00:18:41,743
He's not disabled, he's clearly
coming round from an operation.

349
00:18:41,744 --> 00:18:44,463
He is disabled,

350
00:18:44,464 --> 00:18:46,423
and he's gay, which is fine,

351
00:18:46,424 --> 00:18:49,543
and also, he's a mute since birth.
So you're prejudiced.

352
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,863
Choo-choo, move along the garden.

353
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,703
He's not mute! He just said,
"Choo-choo, move along the garden."

354
00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:58,704
My husband kick me out
and you destroy my business!

355
00:19:00,384 --> 00:19:02,183
I was liberating you.

356
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:05,263
And you haven't got a business,
you fucking nutter!

357
00:19:05,264 --> 00:19:07,303
Oh, my...

358
00:19:07,304 --> 00:19:09,223
Excuse me, are you Dan Davies?

359
00:19:09,224 --> 00:19:12,943
Yes. Your aunt's here.

360
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,343
What?

361
00:19:14,344 --> 00:19:17,623
I really need to go home.

362
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:21,624
I can't let you go with half a
Slim Shady Gaga, Mrs Thompson.

363
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,343
My business partner hasn't shown up.

364
00:19:24,344 --> 00:19:26,463
I only wanted a cut and set.

365
00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:30,464
Ssh! I'll give her another try.

366
00:19:31,064 --> 00:19:32,743
Magda? Where the hell are you?

367
00:19:32,744 --> 00:19:35,383
Are you crying?

368
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:36,903
What?

369
00:19:36,904 --> 00:19:39,223
He said what?

370
00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:42,383
Nesta, I don't have time for
this! I'm...

371
00:19:42,384 --> 00:19:44,903
You bloody fool!

372
00:19:44,904 --> 00:19:47,343
Oh my...!

373
00:19:47,344 --> 00:19:48,703
What have you done?

374
00:19:48,704 --> 00:19:50,623
What have I done?

375
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,063
You rotter.

376
00:19:52,064 --> 00:19:55,663
You have hired a gangster
to clean your mother's house.

377
00:19:55,664 --> 00:19:59,183
I am supposed to be dancing a jig
at the Banbury Folk Festival,

378
00:19:59,184 --> 00:20:01,023
not dealing with naughty boys.

379
00:20:01,024 --> 00:20:02,863
Nesta, you have to get out of here.

380
00:20:02,864 --> 00:20:05,543
They won't understand this.
No-one would understand this!

381
00:20:05,544 --> 00:20:06,903
Understand what?

382
00:20:06,904 --> 00:20:10,904
Well, this!
This is a Banbury tradition.

383
00:20:11,104 --> 00:20:14,063
Now, I am going to see your mother
and you are coming with me.

384
00:20:14,064 --> 00:20:16,503
You go, I'm just going to go
and get my certificate, OK?

385
00:20:16,504 --> 00:20:20,383
And then we'll...
Daniel... you can decide how,

386
00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:22,543
but one way or another,

387
00:20:22,544 --> 00:20:26,544
you are coming with me.

388
00:20:27,664 --> 00:20:29,103
OK, guys, all right,

389
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,744
let's take it down a bit...
Oh, my God!

390
00:20:32,944 --> 00:20:36,944
Arrgh!

391
00:20:41,944 --> 00:20:44,583
Oh, he's a brave little boy,
putting up a fight.

392
00:20:44,584 --> 00:20:45,903
Nesta, please!

393
00:20:45,904 --> 00:20:49,304
Dan, for God's sake, stop this!
I can get you help.

394
00:20:49,304 --> 00:20:51,344
Fuck off, David, she started it.

395
00:20:51,345 --> 00:20:53,143
Why, there's no-one
he doesn't hate!

396
00:20:53,144 --> 00:20:55,303
Leave her alone. Victim!

397
00:20:55,304 --> 00:20:57,623
I live with her.
Domestic violence!

398
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:58,903
Victim!

399
00:20:58,904 --> 00:21:02,904
Your mum's house has been
totally emptied, you fool!

400
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,703
Victim! Dan!

401
00:21:06,704 --> 00:21:10,063
Dan! This is all your fault!

402
00:21:10,064 --> 00:21:12,623
He's beaten up another old woman.

403
00:21:12,624 --> 00:21:15,503
Victims! Plural!

404
00:21:15,504 --> 00:21:16,663
Victim!

405
00:21:16,664 --> 00:21:18,743
No, it's make-up.
You don't like

406
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,663
women wearing make-up.

407
00:21:20,664 --> 00:21:22,063
Victim!

408
00:21:22,064 --> 00:21:26,064
Please stop shouting "victim".
This is a misunderstanding.

409
00:21:26,224 --> 00:21:29,863
Oh, Nesta, that's him.
The male cleaner.

410
00:21:29,864 --> 00:21:31,703
That's the man who took
all my mum's stuff.

411
00:21:31,704 --> 00:21:33,823
Trying to get other people
to do time for him.

412
00:21:33,824 --> 00:21:35,903
Victim! Oi! Oi!

413
00:21:35,904 --> 00:21:39,703
You're not going anywhere,
you sick bastard!

414
00:21:39,704 --> 00:21:41,744
Please, oi!

415
00:21:45,864 --> 00:21:49,864
Teggun!

416
00:21:51,464 --> 00:21:55,464
David, you wanted to know
two things about my partner.

417
00:21:55,504 --> 00:21:57,383
That is Teggun,

418
00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:59,143
she is fiercely loyal,

419
00:21:59,144 --> 00:22:01,863
and as it turns out,
a fucking good throw.

420
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:05,864
Now, can I have
my certificate, please?!

421
00:22:07,304 --> 00:22:11,304
Victim!

422
00:22:13,944 --> 00:22:17,944
Lovely lines,
confident stride from Davies here.

423
00:22:18,384 --> 00:22:21,583
The big man focused,
finding his groove early on.

424
00:22:21,584 --> 00:22:23,943
Now then, what's he got for
us here?

425
00:22:23,944 --> 00:22:25,424
Oh, my goodness!
What's this?

426
00:22:25,424 --> 00:22:27,464
He's going for it,
it's a full hip swivel!

427
00:22:27,465 --> 00:22:28,943
This is going to break records!

428
00:22:28,944 --> 00:22:32,584
This might be one of the most
flamboyant aisle walks I've ever seen!

429
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:35,487
The old master
back at the top of his game!

430
00:22:35,532 --> 00:23:03,760
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431
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